Pedalling the cycle of life

A fortnight after the year has ended, its time for a performance review of 2008. If I had to describe the year in one word, that word would be 'HELL'. 2008 has really pushed me to the edge. It has tested my patience, my emotions, my sanity. This year I saw it all. I flunked for the very first time in my life – flunked my MA exams. I lost my dog who was my baby since the past 14 years and then, when I hadn't even managed to cope with all of that, I lost the most important person in my life – my dad. At the start of the year I took off flying, but then fell flat on my face, then managed to stagger up again, and got knocked down again, then stood up once again and so on and so forth.

It's funny how people say "Oh, you are a really strong person. If I were at your place, I would've lost it long back." I used to say that when I would hear of someone losing a loved one. But you know, it's not as easy. You can't just give up; you can't as easily lose your sanity. Life — the bitch that she is — has to be lived. And while living this bitchy little life, you realize certain inevitable truths of life. Time will keep slipping away like sand through your fingers. Everybody will leave and you will mourn the loss with a crazed passion, until time does what it does best – heals you.

There will be times when even in a room full of people you will be locked up in some dark somber corner of your mind reliving every single painful detail of the miseries in your past, weeping with dry eyes. But there'll also be times when standing at the doorway of a local compartment when the bloodshot full moon has just risen on the horizon, with the wind beating on your face and Chris Martin crooning in your ears, you feel sublime bliss.

There'll be times when being born seems like the worst thing to ever have happened to you. You wouldn't for the life of you want to get out of bed and report for duty. Little tip, if you ever have any hope of getting out of that depression, don't stay in bed, don't stay home. Because, as the saying goes, 'No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.'

People will come, people will leave. Miseries will multiply, good times will arrive. The sun will set every single day, but it will rise again tomorrow. Unlike James Hetfield's words which say 'No one but me can change myself, but it's too late', it's never too late; life is always waiting for you to join the fun. To conclude, I would like to add yet another quote to this highly preachy blog, and it goes, 'I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it' - Rita Mae Brown. J

PRAISE THE ANONYMOUS

Another article I had written for my college newspaper 'Spectator' 2 years ago. Until I get into the groove of writing again, I'm fishing out my old creativity ;)

Who is God? How would you define God?  Traditionally, one would define God as the one Supreme Being, the Creator and Ruler of the universe. God is the whole and sole heart of this world. The mysterious life giving force behind every single occurrence, from the sprouting of a new infant leaf in spring, to the falling of a dead one in autumn, he is responsible for it all!

When asked to define God, 23 year old Sachin Bhandary had the following to say, "How can you define God? Can you ever imagine infinite happiness, infinite love? Human minds cannot understand that unless you reach a much superior level. I am sorry, I cannot define God." Different people, different opinions, different outlooks, but most would swear by one common point, there is only ONE God.

However, if that is true, then why the different names? When everyone agrees that God is only one, why call him by different names? So the question goes, is it important to 'name' God?  "We can't have faith in something abstract. People need a name for what they are committing to", seems to be Sachin's justification.

Life hasn't been easy for 20 year old Tarana Merchant when it comes to naming her religion or the God that she worships. Tarana is from what can be called, a multi-cultural background. If one goes to analyze, it can even be said that she has genes from practically all the different religions. Her definition of God is simple; God is the supreme, omnipresent being who is invisible to the naked eye. He is just a force, and has nothing to do with idols. He is the sole connection between life and death.

The most common problem she faces is when she is asked about her religion. Says Tarana, "Ideally it is assumed that Tarana is a Hindu name, where as Merchant is more like a Muslim surname. I have actually seen stereotypical Hindus wince as they hear my last name. Why is this so? Why does God have to be named at all? I mean God is too supreme a being to be named in the first place. He CANNOT be categorized into any one religion. Naming him simply leads to a lot of communal tension and confusion. Let's just stop categorizing people on the basis of their religion. The world would be a much better place if we could get rid of these superficial biases once and for all."

Eighteen year old Shania Singh also shares more or less the same opinion as Tarana, only she goes a little overboard saying, "I am so tired of having people ask me my religion immediately after I introduce myself to them. I mean if the world is going to make it so hard to have faith in God, then I'd rather be an atheist!"

So can it be said that, the world would be a happier place to live in, if we all had one common 'nameless' God?  The solution seems to be easier said than done. A tradition that goes back hundreds of generations, obviously cannot be changed overnight, or maybe cannot be changed at all. The hope for a religion-less world is probably just wishful thinking.

But then, a religion-less society, that is a society minus the religious customs, traditions, languages, etc. wouldn't be a society at all. Moreover, a world without culture and society would be like reliving the Stone Age! Surely that couldn't be the solution. So I guess we are back to square one, God apparently DOES need to be named, because like Sachin said, it gives us humans a sense of identity, one we simply can't do away with, no matter what the consequences.

When terror strikes ..

This was something I wrote for my college magazine 2 years ago. I hate the fact that 2 years later, it still holds true. Heres hoping that this time around, the aftermath will be a lil diff.

"People killing, people dying, children hurt you hear them crying, can you practice what you preach, and would you turn the other cheek?"

So go the words of The Black Eyed Peas' first single that attained instant success all over the world. Whether the song became popular owing to the bitter truth in its lyrics or simply because of its catchy tune is hard to tell. But the fact remains that man has become the biggest predator to civilization.

India as a nation seems to have become quite immune to the various acts of terrorism that happen practically everyday in some or the other nook and corner of the country. It comes, it devastates, and it disappears, leaving behind harsh memories and incomplete families.

In situations like these, much worse than the horror of the present is the fear of the future. Fear of riots breaking out, best friends becoming worst foes, mass destruction and communal chaos loom large over the country. It’s apparent that basic faith in humanity is staring death in the face.

Political leaders responsible for most of this widespread tension and distrust often act as the silent observers. When terror strikes, they are rudely shaken out of their stupor. Nothing good comes out of that anyway, all they do is come out of their hiding and condemn the heinous crimes committed and announce compensation for the victims and their families; price for one dead family member, Rupees 50 lakhs. Some even go to the extent of declaring state wide or nationwide bandh to condemn the assault, handicapping the entire nation/city and giving an unofficial holiday to people who couldn’t care less.

In the days following a terror attack, security is beefed up in public transports and other public areas, albeit temporarily. Gradually, all is forgotten. Life moves on, slowly but steadily. And then one day, terror strikes again, everything comes to a standstill, and once again, the government is caught unawares. So it seems we are turning the other cheek after all, again and again, and again…

Of BALLS

Yeah I know, the title brought you here. But I aint the least bit sorry that the write up has NOTHING to do with the 'balls' you were thinking of. Its a rather mundane blog actually. Lolzz.

 

So many times in our lives we cry over very superfluous and completely replaceable things. Things such as a job, an ex-lover or a lost opportunity. All the while taking for granted the most indispensable things in our lives.  It's like the glass ball-rubber ball syndrome that I once read in an email. It goes like this:

 

"Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them - work, family, health, friends and spirit - and you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls - family, health, friends and spirit - are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life."

 

--Brian G. Dyson

President and CEO, Coca-Cola Enterprises during his speech at the Georgia Tech 172nd Commencement Address Sept 6, 1996

 

Even if today you are at the peak of your career or the front runner in any particular field, a couple of decades down the line, when the applause has died away, the trophies have gathered dust and your fan following has faded into oblivion, the importance of the glass balls will be realized. By then, it would have gotten too late and there'll be nothing left to do but bide time and await judgment day with a heavy heart.

 

So let's not wait that long, 'cause I sure don't want to show up at St. Peter's with a guilty conscious. He'll send me straight down under (if you know what I mean). Selfish as it is, I'm going to give the glass balls in my life some extra attention and even a hug maybe, and hope to God that the scratches will fade away.

DAYS GO BY AND STILL I THINK OF YOU

Do you know how it feels to lose the person who brought you into the world, the person responsible for your very existence? The person who taught you to talk, who taught you to walk, who taught you to pray, who taught you to play, who kept you alive so you can see today. There’s his picture in the prayer room, it brings me to tears. So I avoid looking into the room to escape his smiling face. But then I look into the mirror and I see him again. So I close my eyes and walk away.

He is on my mind when I lie alone in bed, because sis sleeps beside mum now. So I give my teddy a tight hug and cry myself to sleep. I don’t want to get out of bed in the morning, but there’s work to be done, bills to be paid. So I walk down to the living room, my tea sits ready. As I sit sipping my tea, dreams from last night flash in my head. I dreamt of him again. Mum and sis come and sit for a while, we share a moment. Then mum asks me to go get ready, lest I miss my bus.
So I go into the shower, shed a few tears, then compose myself and wear my happy mask. Its time to go to the big masquerade ball called life. As all three of us leave for work, I notice the perfectly fitted masks on mum and sis’s faces as well. All set, its show time.

CAN'T DIE ANYMORE THAN I ALREADY AM DEAD

Bury me alive ‘cause I can’t face the sun,
The darkness inside is sucking me in.

And I can’t open my eyes,
I can’t stand my sight.
The days are getting darker
With nowhere to run.

So bury me alive under the clear blue sky,
6 feet below where the mortals lie.

And I shall hold my breath,
Till it all makes sense.
Then I’ll close my eyes
And quietly die.

So bury me alive
And water my grave
Plant a cherry seed
And all the weathers it’ll brave.

And when it grows older
And cherries it’ll bear
When it sways with the wind
I’ll no longer be a slave.

Bury me alive ‘cause I’ve been dead for long
My heart strings no longer stir at the cuckoo’s song.

The sun rise seems dull
The guitar, it weeps
So bury me alive
It would mean no wrong.

BLACK

"Darkness, sweet darkness. Hello old friend, where have you been?" I asked. "I was waiting to resurface to keep you company when all your happy friends leave", it replied. I'm glad you are back. I've been missing you. Now that you are back, I feel complete; feel like I am home again. This is where I belong; this is where I grew up. Glad I can always return to you.

And when you envelope me, I feel no fear. I feel like a part of you. I dissolve in you. I can be invisible, hide away where no one can see me, judge me, pity me or hate me. In your arms I shall lie and weep away all those pent up tears. Within your embrace I shall scream out my anger and trust you to absorb that awful sound. And then, when all is finally quiet, we shall sit together and silently plot revenge against them all.