I always thought that nobody understands me, nobody knows the REAL me .. the real Shweta. Its all so hypocritical. Felt so frustrated. Why doesnt anybody understand me? Am I the only fool amongst a world of the wise? Or am I the only wise person in a world of fools??? It was sooo immensely unsettling .. nobody understands me! Why do i have to be soo complicated when everybody else is so uncomplicated?
Then I across people who echoed the same sentiment. "I am not really the person that everybody thinks I am." "People think that they know me, but they really dont, nobody does, nobody ever has." "I am sumbody to everybody else and sumbody else in reality." All the sentiments more or less the same. Nobody knows me, nobody understands me and such. They all said this with vengeace, with bitterness with anger and frustration. I laughed. Every single time I laughed. Practically every single person that I come across lately has the same sentiments. People of more or less the same age group, my age group. My laughing dissed them. They got angry at me, thought of me as insensitive, incompassionate, unable to understand how they feel. Little do they know, I laugh cuz I know exactly what they are going through, more than they themselves realize.
Slowly the realization dawned on me. It was a revelation, a sweet revelation. A revelation and relief beyond compare, limitless and unmeasurable. Everybody goes through this feeling, a feeling of living two lives. One that they live with themselves, and one that they share with their fellow human beings. And they feel caught up somewhere in the middle. Frustrated at having to live two lives. Probably unable to merge the two lives for fear of being unaccepted by the people who matter to them.
Everybody is built differently, extremely differently - mentally. No person can understand another person completely, never. Because the person's psyche is built much differently, and it is not humanly possible for that person to understand completely another person, no matter who they are. Thats just how its supposed to be and thats how God has made us. No two ways about it. God's mysterious ways never cease to amaze me. Just why did the Creator make us all so different? Unable to fathom a fellow human being? All it does is lead us to a hell lot of confusion and frustration.
When someone says they 'understand' you, either they are lying, or maybe they do genuinely understand you, albeit to only a certain extent. When a person is spilling his guts out to another person who says he 'understands' him, the listener will understand only part of the other person's sentiments, the remaining will probably not make any sense to him. But of course he continues to listen, just so the other person thinks the listener 'understands'. This is true for everybody. Just about everybody.
After this realization struck me, I was suddenly the happiest person on the face of this Earth! I suddenly felt soo much love for my fellow human beings, love because all the hatred for my fellow human beings and the whole human race due to their inability to understand me; because I felt I was so different from them and unlike them and hence felt out of place; because of my feeling of isolation even in a room filled with people, was all suddenly gone, and it left behind a huge void. This void was then filled up with all that love for mankind.
Love out of the sympathy that I feel for all the fellow human beings who go through the same internal dispute that I do, love out of sharing the same feeling of frustration and isolation because you think nobody understands you, love out of the liberating feeling that I AM NOT ALONE ...
I hate hypocrites and people who dont value their word. I hate comparisons, takes away the uniqueness. I hate narcississts, self confidence is one thing and narcism another.
