Wednesday, August 13, 2008

IMMORTAL

It’s thundering and pouring outside,
The wind has blown the trees apart wide,
The palm trees rock from side to side,
But it’s quiet here on the inside.

The electric wires shake dangerously,
The windows rattle furiously,
The lightening rips the sky mercilessly,
And I relish my haven shamelessly.

The sunlight dims lower,
The day gets somber,
The shrubs drown in the shower,
And I laugh at people running for cover.

Against the window I hear the wind howling,
I tell the rain gods, “you can’t win”,
“You can’t touch me!” I keep singing,
Until the glass broke and the rain came in.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

I HATE THIS CIRCUS

I turned in my papers and gladly took up another job at another MNC a month ago. I waited around long enough. 14 months is a long time. I wasn’t moved to the department of my choice, no matter how much I begged and pleaded. Enough was enough, if you won’t give me what I want, I’ll go find someone who will, I said. So I packed up my bags, turned in my papers and took up another job elsewhere. It isn’t all I ever wanted, but it’ll do for now, I thought.

Last three days of my notice period left and my team mates are all being trained on doing news stories, something I kept begging for, for the last 14 months and I go WTF! Am I supposed to find this funny? Is God playing a prank on me? I took up another job, without a pay hike and which is a two hour bus ride away from my house. Here at my present job, I get a home pick up and drop. Why is life so unfair? Why don’t people get what they want, when they want it? Why does it all come to them when they don’t need it anymore?

Am I supposed to find this a test God is putting me to? I can’t help but find this whole thing one hilarious joke God played on me and can’t help but think that somewhere up there, God is having the heartiest laugh ever. Well, at least someone’s laughing. That’s life; a circus. Some days you are the lion, some days the clown.

Monday, August 04, 2008

MY INSANE LONELINESS

You came into my life like a breeze astray,
You held my hand and promised to stay.
To be there in crises when I might need you.
As naive as I was, I blindly believed you.

There came times when the pain was so hard and deep,
My tears soaked my pillow, until I fell asleep.
I stretched out my hand for you to lead me to light.
But I didn't find you, all I found was darkness and fright.

I waited in vain for you to come and comfort me,
To help me battle my complexes and set me free.
You never came, but instead came more pain and despair.
I tried to end my life, 'cause i found it so unfair.

Is it my fault now that I don't believe in love?
No one is worth trusting, there is no such thing as love.
Everyone is selfish with a motive in mind.
I believe I'm too far gone, and love I shall never find.

Crying away nights has become my new obsession.
Bidding goodbye to the living world is now my mission.
I fear no one will cry at my grave after I'm gone.
But worse is the fear of living and then dying alone.

Something I wrote a long time ago.