Losing my marbles, got to hold on to somethingI know I'm not weak, I can tide over this
I don't know what I need, I just don't feel complete
All these expectations people have from me
I can't fulfill them and I'll never be free
It's scary 'cause I'm not any of those things you think I am
I am ugly, ugly as can be and I can't look into the mirror and face the sham
How do I tell you, it's all a lie
How do I tell you, I just want to die
Bitter feelings keep resurfacing
I just about manage to breathe and watch the day passing
I got to gain control, I want to feel right
But I go back to hating myself, I can't stand my sight
People look at me as if I'm some kind of a freak
My thoughts are too dark for them, makes them recoil and shriek
Imagine what its like for me to grow up with them
For years I've been looking for a light to guide me out of this den ...
(Poem is incomplete .. maybe someday I shall find the right words to finally complete it.)
So much sadness, so many grievances in almost all of your writings; frustration that makes you write all this? I bet you have a diary and wonder how dark that might be!
ReplyDeleteThey'r not all dark posts! Some are .. n hey, everyone has a dark side, I just choose to exhibit mine for a bit :P .. n yeah there used to be a diary which was like a blackhole of darkness .. but thts been burnt n sent up in smoke now :D
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